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Corona quarantine diary
Inițiatorul discuției: Mervyn Henderson

Chris S  Identity Verified
Regatul Unit
din suedeză în engleză
+ ...
Four Ps in a pod Mar 15

As it happens, I was working only the other day on the four Ps of investment management.

People, process, performance and, er, um, bugger, um, Porsche?


Mervyn Henderson
P.L.F.Persio
expressisverbis
Zibow Retailleau
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
People Mar 15

People are always first, aren't they? In the advertising, that is. Never in the small print.

P.L.F.Persio
expressisverbis
Chris S
Zibow Retailleau
 

Felipe Lacerda  Identity Verified
Brazilia
Local time: 05:09
Membru (2011)
din engleză în portugheză
+ ...
Some random thoughts Mar 15

Why ProZ won't let me include "Biggest biceps/delts of ProZ.com" as a credential in my profile? I'm sure I'd land way more clients with that.

A friend of mine just called 2020 a "parenthesis in history". I can't say it's accurate, but it's quite poetic and I like that.

Sometimes I wish we were an eagle.

I will pay USD 200 to anyone that can translate Brazil's Ragatanga, a classic song in our culture, and make sense of that. To Njerep, though.


Mervyn Henderson
Matthias Brombach
Chris S
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
The 13:00 slot Mar 15

And we're very grateful to Matthias too, as we now realise you have to have nerves of steel to live in certain parts of northern Germany, especially when Kalle swans up in his Porsche with his sunglasses and his Hamburger Henchmen to bark orders at the black T-shirted Schleswig-Holstein lackeys. Keeping a low profile and avoiding direct confrontation with “Deutschland’s Demonic Dealers in Drugs and Death”, as Matthias calls his former neighbours, are key components of survival in the Kiel ... See more
And we're very grateful to Matthias too, as we now realise you have to have nerves of steel to live in certain parts of northern Germany, especially when Kalle swans up in his Porsche with his sunglasses and his Hamburger Henchmen to bark orders at the black T-shirted Schleswig-Holstein lackeys. Keeping a low profile and avoiding direct confrontation with “Deutschland’s Demonic Dealers in Drugs and Death”, as Matthias calls his former neighbours, are key components of survival in the Kiel sub-wilderness.Collapse


expressisverbis
Chris S
Matthias Brombach
P.L.F.Persio
 

Lingua 5B  Identity Verified
Bosnia şi Herţegovina
Local time: 10:09
din engleză în croată
+ ...
Samples. Mar 15

Felipe Lacerda wrote:

Why ProZ won't let me include "Biggest biceps/delts of ProZ.com" as a credential in my profile?


You need to show samples.

Btw, why am I not on the list of panelists? I always have something smart to say, for only $999,99.

[Edited at 2021-03-15 13:24 GMT]


Mervyn Henderson
Chris S
Felipe Lacerda
Angie Garbarino
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
 

Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
Germania
Local time: 10:09
Membru (2007)
din olandeză în germană
+ ...
It was a full success... Mar 15

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

key components of survival in the Kiel sub-wilderness.

... I had a lot of participants, more than expected, and I could gain quite a lot of coordinates, which I already submitted to a Hördy Gördy Veteran Squadron, who already have started their actions (I can hear some motor roaring in the North of Kiel). I hope, Thomas doesn't mind when their gunners sometimes aren't too accurate and I can offer some compensation for any collateral damages out of the revenue I made with the drinks I sold during the webinar (among others a "Bahama Mama", many "Cheques on the Beach", some alcohol-free beer to Wales and a glass of lukewarm goat milk to London, not to forget a Caipirinha, sold for 1,000 BRL somewhere to Sao Paulo and a nice cup of Galão, which I gave out for free for one of your most important and charming female follower). Kalle, you will finally be able to take off your sunglasses soon and those tiny Heineken bottles, seen in the hands of the "Poldermaffia", won't have any countereffect, although they look like FLAK shells. Thank you all for your great support and we see each other in Potsdam!


Mervyn Henderson
expressisverbis
Chris S
P.L.F.Persio
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
@Felipe, Lingua 5B, Matthias Mar 15

In the order they posted:

Felipe, like Lingua 5B says, you have to show samples. So why not swap the current photo for a Schwarzenegger pose? I mean, how do we know you're not lying about your body? For all we know you might have the body of Rodney Trotter (Wodney's Wiki page is about to get more than one visit, I fear).

Good question, Lingua 5B, why not? And you do usually have something smart to say. By the way things are going, though, there'll probably be a 2nd anni
... See more
In the order they posted:

Felipe, like Lingua 5B says, you have to show samples. So why not swap the current photo for a Schwarzenegger pose? I mean, how do we know you're not lying about your body? For all we know you might have the body of Rodney Trotter (Wodney's Wiki page is about to get more than one visit, I fear).

Good question, Lingua 5B, why not? And you do usually have something smart to say. By the way things are going, though, there'll probably be a 2nd anniversary of this, so I'll pencil you in now. Will the 12:00 slot be OK on 15 March 2022?

Glad to know it was a profitable experience for you, Matthias. Make sure Kalle gets a cut. Because if Kalle gets all cut up about something, other people sometimes get all cut up too.
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expressisverbis
Chris S
Felipe Lacerda
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
Matthias Brombach
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
The 14:00 slot Mar 15

And well done too, Chris S, who’s just finished telling us about how he had to do something about the misery of living next door to Tom Jones, amid high-pitched screams day and night of “Yes! Oh yes! Take your Delilah, Tom! Right there, yes, right there, big boy! Give it to this Pussycat!”. Not to mention the “daily queues of scantily-clad bimbos and old groupies hanging around the garden for a chance of being serviced by the Great Man, or at least a peep through the windows at a live ... See more
And well done too, Chris S, who’s just finished telling us about how he had to do something about the misery of living next door to Tom Jones, amid high-pitched screams day and night of “Yes! Oh yes! Take your Delilah, Tom! Right there, yes, right there, big boy! Give it to this Pussycat!”. Not to mention the “daily queues of scantily-clad bimbos and old groupies hanging around the garden for a chance of being serviced by the Great Man, or at least a peep through the windows at a live ‘Sex Bomb’ servicing as a consolation prize.”

Teetering precariously on the brink of unlawfulness, our central bank translator, well used to overnight deposit management and flows of intraday liquidity, found solace in one of the “family bubbles” permitted in certain circumstances during the UK lockdown, though he adds that “the real bubbles came from the mounds of Radox salts I had to soak in afterwards to reduce my swollen equipment”, a tip Tom gave him, apparently, hastily clarifying that he means Tom next door, of course.

[Edited at 2021-03-15 14:05 GMT]
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Chris S
Matthias Brombach
expressisverbis
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
The 15:00 slot Mar 15

And I think I speak for all of us when I express my thanks to our smartly-dressed contributor for his marketing tips today. I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly never seen a 50,000 euro suit before. Ramón isn’t a translator, though – in fact, he’s the generous sponsor of this webinar – but what he does can be applied to all kinds of businesses, as you must have realised when he touches on his “aggressive, hands-on, no-nonsense marketing” techniques. "Sometimes you've just ... See more
And I think I speak for all of us when I express my thanks to our smartly-dressed contributor for his marketing tips today. I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly never seen a 50,000 euro suit before. Ramón isn’t a translator, though – in fact, he’s the generous sponsor of this webinar – but what he does can be applied to all kinds of businesses, as you must have realised when he touches on his “aggressive, hands-on, no-nonsense marketing” techniques. "Sometimes you've just got to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty," Ramón tells us. And, in the “Dos and Don’ts” section, he homes in on the reasons why you simply can’t afford not to buy his star product:

“Unease, depression, even suicide,” he warns, “all the hallmarks of Torres Oranges Deficiency Syndrome.” Chillingly, we learn that only the other day a man in Gasteiz decided to put an end to it all for this very reason. Such was his state of despair that he had stabbed himself a dozen times, shot himself twice in the head, and hanged himself from a bridge, leaving a stark note pinned to his chest: “For God's sake, don’t end up like me. Eat Torres Oranges.”



This webinar was brought to you by Torres Oranges. Torres Oranges. There’s really no need to check under the car every morning, or sort nervously through packages that arrive in the mail. Why look over your shoulder all your life? Get some peace of mind. Get some Torres Oranges. Torres Oranges.
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expressisverbis
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
Matthias Brombach
Chris S
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
Chris S Mar 15

A note on Chris's imaginary webinar contribution. I wasn't sure whether he would be OK with what I was going to write, so I asked permission first. I might be a prat a large part of the time, but there's some humanity still left there, so that's the kind of thing I do. And not only did Chris say "Fine", but he added that "intraday liquidity" had also been a strong feature (well, we always pump it up, don't we? if you know what I mean ...).

And I thought it was so good I just couldn
... See more
A note on Chris's imaginary webinar contribution. I wasn't sure whether he would be OK with what I was going to write, so I asked permission first. I might be a prat a large part of the time, but there's some humanity still left there, so that's the kind of thing I do. And not only did Chris say "Fine", but he added that "intraday liquidity" had also been a strong feature (well, we always pump it up, don't we? if you know what I mean ...).

And I thought it was so good I just couldn't resist using it, but I just had to enhance it, didn't I? I was almost responsible for "huge wads of intraday liquidity" there too - again, if you know what I mean ... - but I desisted and left it as "flows".
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expressisverbis
Zibow Retailleau
Chris S
P.L.F.Persio
 

Baran Keki  Identity Verified
Turcia
Local time: 11:09
Utilizator
din engleză în turcă
The stuff you write here Mar 15

Are they copyrighted? What is to stop Proz from cashing in on your 'barstid coppers' story? Isn't it time you worked out an 'Andrew Morris type deal' with them?

Mervyn Henderson
Zibow Retailleau
expressisverbis
Chris S
P.L.F.Persio
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
Thanks to everyone Mar 15

Yes, to everyone. Not because of the fictitious webinar (although it was a gas!!!!). I mean everyone on ProZ, with no exceptions and no reservations. I must admit, I'm quite emotional about this. I might come across as a cynical, hard-boiled poster - and, by God, with what I have to put up with, I have reason to be sometimes - but this thread hasn't always been about that kind of thing, as I think you know. There have been tough moments and lighter moments.

In the last twelve months
... See more
Yes, to everyone. Not because of the fictitious webinar (although it was a gas!!!!). I mean everyone on ProZ, with no exceptions and no reservations. I must admit, I'm quite emotional about this. I might come across as a cynical, hard-boiled poster - and, by God, with what I have to put up with, I have reason to be sometimes - but this thread hasn't always been about that kind of thing, as I think you know. There have been tough moments and lighter moments.

In the last twelve months it has hardened the hearts of some, admittedly unnecessarily so, and gladdened the hearts of others. I beg forgiveness for the former, and I rejoice in the latter. But perhaps we needed this kind of thing, not just here, but everywhere.

It's been a year. We definitely know now how fragile we are, how understanding human beings can be, and what utter bastards they can be, too, but we've certainly learned. Have we learned anything useful? I'd like to think so. Wouldn't you?

Let's hope this thread will eventually disappear and become a thing of the past. Then I can move all the bullshit stories to another thread, and just start a new day. Just a new day. Just a Perfect Day*.


*I should add that Lou Reed rang me a few years ago to advise for the promotional photo. He had seen me by chance on Facebook, and wanted to know how to wear that tortured look I've worn every day since I don't know when. "Lou," I said to him, "I can't help you. You should take a walk. Take a walk on the wild side, son."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYEC4TZsy-Y


[Edited at 2021-03-15 19:40 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-15 19:45 GMT]
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Zibow Retailleau
expressisverbis
Chris S
QHE
P.L.F.Persio
 

Alexandra Scott  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 04:09
Membru (2006)
din italiană în engleză
+ ...
Perfect Day Mar 15

Dang, I get "Video unavailable!"; just wondering, was it that Lou Reed song?

In the meantime, allow me to join in the chorus of thanks for a year's worth of distraction, sometimes shocking, but always impressive!!


Zibow Retailleau
expressisverbis
Chris S
QHE
P.L.F.Persio
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Spania
Local time: 10:09
din spaniolă în engleză
+ ...
INIŢIATORUL SUBIECTULUI
@Alexandra Mar 15

Thanks! Yes, I know, I saw that, but changed now.

 

Alexandra Scott  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 04:09
Membru (2006)
din italiană în engleză
+ ...
Even more perfect Mar 15

Thanks Mervyn, love that song even though Lou cannot sing in tune. Should not matter, apparently, as long as you mean what you're singing...

Mervyn Henderson
expressisverbis
P.L.F.Persio
 
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